knowing my condition is the reason I must change...

welp..im at work..lightweight working. doing this terrible terrible computer training. My thoughts have to drift in order to keep my sanity.

Ok so today's thought has been inspired by my newest coworker! She's tight! So I overheard her conuslting with one of her clients and the client was talking about losing her husband and putting weight and just being really sad overall. My coworker said "I cant imagine how you feel but i imagine that losing your best friend and soul mate has left you feeling lonely. I really want you to succeed in your weightloss goals and i will do everything in my power so make sure that you do just that." She said it with such conviction that it prompted me to think about the word "compassion".

i'm a word person so though I know what the word compassion means in everyday speak, I really wanted to look it up! Compassion is a latin word that means "co-suffering". if we truly think about it, most of us don't know what it even means to be compassionate. Compassionated doesn't simply mean feeling badly for someone. Compassion not only causes you to feel for somebody, but to feel so deeply about the condition that one is in that you feel as though you are literally suffering with them...and since3 you are literally suffering with them, you can not leave that person in the state in which you found them. My Pastor often uses Jesus as the ultimate example because He is! Jesus felt so much compassion for the fallen state of the world that He had to go to the cross and die for our sins! Like...that is sooo dope to me!

I'm striving to do better forreal... I want to feel for people so much that I dont just say "awwwww..that sucks", but that I am driven to actually do something. That's my prayer for myself and for you! :)

Like a star...

Well I’m chilled at starbucks drinking a tall shaken passion iced tea lemonade…best summer drink ever!!! Listening to Corinne Bailey Rae’s “Like a Star”. Love this song! The titles of these posts tend to go with the songs in my head or currently playing. I’m totally ok with that…hope you are too!

Computer training at work today… I’m tired of it! Ugh! Like forreal though…I’m pretty much over it. I’m still working on this whole patience and being content thing. It’s a learned behavior…real talk! I am so ready for something different in so many aspects of my life…but I feel like the reason that nothing is because I have not gotten/given all that I am supposed to in my current situation. Sigh…I still think I’m over it but ah welp!

But anyways people have been asking me what I do to my hair or what I put in it… (Side note: John Legend’s “Heaven” just came on and I got pumped! Lol) I have natural hair as you can tell from my pictures. I haven’t been natural for very long but I love it!! It’s so much more fun than when my hair was relaxed…it’s a lot funkier too and that is definitely right up my alley! Some products that I use: Cantu leave-in conditioner, Redken shampoo for curly hair, carol’s daughter hair milk, Kinky curly leave-in conditioner, kinky curly curling custard, Design essentials leave –in conditioner, Cantu hair and scalp oil, and ummm...I’m sure there’s more but I can’t recall at the moment. I surely don’t use all of these products every time I do my hair but I like a variety of products. I’ve never been the type to use all of one hair care line. Some people do but it’s never quite worked for me. I love leave in conditioners because they leave my hair feeling OHmazing!!! I have a couple of different kinds and I usually choose which one I used based on what hairstyle I’m planning for. The Design Essential’s one that I mentioned is a spray so it is pretty light. I like that for when I’m doing a really curly style because it doesn’t way the style down. The other two are creams…they are a little thicker but I like that with all the other hair styles. As far as styles, I am uber creative…well at least I think I am so I like to transform hairstyles. It can start as one look and be reworked in a variety of ways throughout the week! I luh my hair! I’ll have to post pictures up of hairstyles as I do them from time to time.

Anyways, lunch is over…my quiet time is coming to a screeching halt...so back to work I go! I’m out!

work is sooo overrated...yes?

ok so work isn't overrated forreal. i just don't feel like doing any today...lol.Tacky? ah welp! But anyways so i was thinking.. I used to think the saying "perception is everything" was dumb..because what does that even mean? Got it!! but it's a pretty true statement. How people perceive things is their reality. So if someone tells you that you were rude to them and you're thinking "ummm..no i wasn't"..even though you may not have intended to be..and you still don't think you were, in their reality, you were because that is how they perceived it and unless they try really hard they can't see past their perception. make sense? it did to me... :)


ok and so randomly my client says today, "your hair is really cute! how do you get it to stay like that? Wait, is that your real hair?" what?! lol! can you ask people that? apparently so. This is the 2nd time i've been asked that in like a month! And for the record, its totally my real hair! what the heck?? haha!

And another random thought i had today.. I should totally be somebody's stylist! lol no?? just a thought! but seriously though!

Ehhh, i guess i'll get back to work.. more thoughts later im sure!

Many blessings to you! :)

whats the point in being embarassed???

So I went to a wedding with one of my faves not too long ago.. I was not invited to the wedding..but I went as his date. The wedding was great..he sang..all that good stuff. Then as we were leaving he was like "let's go to the reception." I was cool with it because I had no plans for the day..my plans were to hang with him. So we ride over to the reception hall and there is a lady sitting at the door with a list. At this point I slightly go into nervous mode because remember I wasn't invited to the wedding. So as we get to the table I get a little more nervous.. I say to him.."Ummm..what shld I do because I don't feel like being embarrassed today." He looks at me and says "u r not about to get embarrassed..as a matter of fact I don't get embarrassed anymore..I mean for what??"

I'm sure he didn't think much of it but that was so profound to me. Because really what is there to b embarrassed about? I was walking into a reception that had a list that I didn't know about. What's honestly the worst thing that could happen? I mean really? Well of course we got to the table and it was no big deal. We were let in and we had a great time laughing and people watching lol.

So all my thoughts generally come back to or will come back who we are in Christ. That's all I know.. :). But seriously as an image-bearer of Christ, it is important to know you're identity! I'm real big on words and I like to know the true meaning of things that we so often use. The word embarrassed means to feel self-conscious.. Hmmmm.. As an image-bearer, we reflect the image of Christ, our Lord and Savior. Like..is there an honor bigger than that?!? So what r we to feel self-conscious about?? Then I got to thinking about the Word ashamed.. To b ashamed means to feel embarrassment. Hmmmm..so basically if we allow ourselves to be embarrassed enough, we can actually get to the point that we are ashamed of who we are. Let's pause a second.. Who are we as children of the most High God?? We are bearers of the image of Christ! Where does that leave room for shame?? Because surely we are not ashamed of the Lord.

And don't get me wrong I'm not just being dramatic..though at times I am totally dramatic! :). But forreal I know that we are human and we all have moments of embarrassment and what-not but we have to be careful lest we miss a chance to minister. I say that because we're embarrassed to talk to someone about Christ because maybe we don't feel like we know enough or just afraid that they'll "embarrass" us by rejecting the Word, we miss an opportunity to share Christ with someone and ultimately miss the call which is to make disciples.

So my charge to you and me is to get over being embarrassed! come up with some self-affirmations to say to yourself. ie. "i am fearfully and wonderfully made". Let's get away from embarrassment and start sharing the word of God in our walk and talk.. after all, we are image-bearers :)

i lift my hands in total adoration unto YOU...

So this title has nothing to do with anything except that this song was in my head as I was getting ready to write..and I love the Lord!! Yea buddy!

But anyways..this evening has been good. Had alotta down time..alone with my thoughts..scary!! So I was talking to my bubby this evening (my brother from another mother). He is a huge blessing! Our convos always reveal something to me. I luh him! (Love him). I have been blessed with great friends throughout my life..not that they are always the best of friends to me but they have all shown me how to b a better friend! I luh them for that! :) idk where that fits into anything..but then again, these are all random thoughts.

So at bible study we talked about waiting again..I'm so enthralled (sp??) With that because I have a really hard time waiting.. But all of a sudden I got the key to waiting at bible study the other night.. When I tell u I was so hype off this.. U ready?! Shld I share?? Ehhh..yea..I should!! The key to waiting is being content. Womp womp. I'm sure u were expecting a little more. Ummm..yea I was too.. But get this..u have to know what it means to really b content. (Side note..I'm a Christian so its all God with me..don't expect anything deep or insightful outside of HIM..) But ok.. So to be content is to b completely grateful and appreciative of your current situation.. And ur probably like yea..yea..that makes sense. But no..its better than that..like to be forreal forreal content u have to realize and agree with the fact that God is MORE than enough..so even when ur waiting on a new job, you can wait patiently because the your new job hasn't come to fruition, in the mean time, God is still more than enough!
That's dope! I hope you're hype with me! Ok think about..if He is more than enough, you can rid yourself of many things.. Like jealousy and frustration..because u don't want what other people have..u don't want what other people have because you know God is more than enough. So in ur wait between here and wherever there is, you can still feel completely full because you are content. That takes us back to the wait..in my last blog I talked about the wait being preparation for where you're headed. You can't fully submit to the preparation process and let it groom you if you're not content. Soooo know God..and get content!! :)

Oh and the song that I was humming earlier that caused the title if this post was "more than anything" by lamar campbell. Yep its great..give it a listen! And many blessings to u.. :) I'm gonna watch the House marathon now :)

I just smile..i'm so content.. :)

Sittin at work..where I should probably be doing work but I'm somehow feeling like work is for the birds today. over it! So many dramatic moments here today that totally didn't have to be that ridiculous. I like to remain calm. I so often want other people to remain calm too. Is that weird? ehhh. maybe.

Really working on this whole patience thing. Waiting is really hard..ugh! Especially when you realize what waiting really is and what it entails...um don't sign me up! can i say that? But no really...like im waiting on a change. I NEED a change of scenery...something amazing to happen. (Not to discredit being alive and being of sound mind because that is truly amazing especially since my clients could drive anyone to insanity!). Not but really...im ready for something different to happen and the great thing is that I know that something grand is coming at some point but the down time in between now and then is killing me.

But anyways the term wait has several meanings but the one that jumped out to me is waiting: being and remaining ready for available use. that's dope to me! because the way we usually think about waiting involves doing nothing and remaining stagnant. But in order to be ready for the change you're looking for or waiting on, you have to be and remain ready for available use. That means that the downtime between here and there is to be used as preparation. Soooooo if you, like me, are waiting for something to happen, don't stagnantly cease to live as you wait; instead, use every life experience up to that point to prepare yourself for that calling!

Yep I just got hype off that a little bit!